My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
