I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
