I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
