You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
