I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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