I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
