my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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