how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
