I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
