I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
