let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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