I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
wanna go halves on a baby?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
