mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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