I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
