don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
