any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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