The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
A bitchslap is in order.
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