you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
MIDGETS
????
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
