I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
