He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
