Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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