Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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