question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
