I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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