somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
