I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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