Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
