i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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