i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So. Much. Porn.
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