Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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