The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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