Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
