THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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