Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
