Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
