I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
