so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
