Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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