life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
