I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So many bounce houses so little time
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
