oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
