He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
