VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
