We won't sleep together?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
