He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
