i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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