The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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