I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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