i barfeds in our rink
accomplished twins. life is a go
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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