Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i wish my penis had a tongue
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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