I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
