its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
