Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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