Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
