I showed him my bush... on skype.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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